Aks

"What do they drink then ?", she enquired all revved up to hear something interesting.

"Nothing." I responded after a brief pause. I smiled to myself and left the room.

She doesn't have a whiff of the fact that I have grown into a professional piyakkad over the past one year. Every friday evenings we drown ourselves into a cocktail of Royal Stag, Smirnoff, Bacardi, Kingfisher and what not and eventually puke our guts out. The next two days are spent on getting off from the 'hang-over'. Saturdays are specially hard, as we spend the whole day littering on the bed sipping on Mango fruity (that's the only thing that goes down the throat that day).

You know how parents boast about how they know their kids inside out. Especially moms like to brag how their kid can never lie to them. I would like to congratulate the person spread this misconception among them.

It helps that I have a god given cherubic and rather innocuous looking face. Add to that my glib tongue and we have what 'Word Power Made Easy' describes as a 'consummate' liar.

Speaking of booze, our culture clearly despises drunks. A teetotaller is a must on a marriage resume. Everyone must be familiar with the ubiquitous scene that unfurls on the silver screen when a drunk son returns home and the confrontation with his mom that follows.

Maa : Tu Sharab pike aaya hai ?

Beta : Nahi Maa...(that was a rhetorical question dude)

Maa : Chala ja yahan se. Is ghar mein tere liye koi jagah nahi.

Beta : Maa...(with a really forlorn face)

Maa : Mat keh mujhe Maa (grabs the end of saree to wipe out the incessant flow of tears).

Rounding off here's 'the wonderful doodh' advertisement.

PS: Speaking of lies, I was reminded of Nicholas Cage's movie Lord of War. This movie is full of 'Wah kya dialouge maara hai' moments. Here's a quote from the movie:

Yuri Orlov (Cage): Some of the most successful relationships are based on lies and deceit. Since that's where they usually end up anyway, it's a logical place to start.