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2009-01-23

The Wrath of Mummy

I was reading Nita's post about parenting. Couldn't help as my thoughts ventured into how I was brought up. In my family, my dad was the lenient type and mom the stricter one. Initially, my mom didn't venture into the academic portion of my upbringing; that was left to my dad. But then two things happened.


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1. A KV(Kendriya Vidyalaya) opened in Dongargarh( a tehsil about 4 hours from Bhilai). In those days, KV in dongargarh was a big thing coz there wasn't a single real school in there( I think it still is). This would be like opening of a CCD/Mc.D in Kharagpur. So, every parent in dgg wanted to send their wards to this prestigious school.


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2. Plague broke out in Surat which meant that my father had to go to tend to the patients which also meant that he was not present to help me prepare with the entrance test to the school.(this is Class 3 I'm talking about)


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I of course failed. I actually failed in Hindi and passed in English and Mathematics. Yes, once upon a time I was very weak in Hindi. My father had to use his sources and bribe the principal to eventually secure my admission in that school.


My mom obviously didn't like it wee bit coz I was in that school solely due to my father. It was then that she decided to take my academic affairs into her hands. She obviously had lost faith in my father's lackadaisical tutelage. I had just managed to score 60% marks in Class 1 and Class 2. Time to straighten up the kid.


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The study sessions with her were torturous to say the least. Ear-twisting and hair plucking were common affairs to her plus I was not allowed to cry. She would bark at the top of her voice,'Kante baron korechi!!'(You are not allowed to cry).


So, what would follow would be this wheezing sound followed by pause and then again the wheezing sound and a pause in alternating patterns.


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She was of course brilliantly trained by Grandpa. The story of my grandpa goes like this. He craved for a son to carry out his family name and tried very hard. But, every time a girl child would be born to him. Eventually the number stopped at 7(my mom was no. 4). You can imagine how pissed off this guy must have been and how much love he must have showered upon his daughters. Add to that my mother unfulfilled wish for graduation.(She was married off half way through her graduation) No wonder all those pent up frustration came crashing down onto me. Damn you Grandpa!!


One of her favorite rants would be,'Salar okal kusmondo, kon ku khone poida hoe chilis, jobe teke poida hoye chis jaliye pudiye kheli'. This roughly translates into O thy wretched son, you have caused me innumerable sufferings since the moment you were born to me.' Translation really takes the edge off.


frustrated-woman.jpg


I remember one particular incident when after repeated instructions I forgot to put the chandra-bindu on madhumakhiyan, she in a belligerent tone told me to get out of her sight. So, I stood up and started to walk out of the house. 'Aye! where are you going?' She screamed back. 'I think you told me to...isn't this what you told me.' I scratched my head in confusion. 'Come back.' She said after banging her head into her palm.


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The standards set by her in academics were very high. I remember she started crying when I stood third in class 5 after coming first in class 4. That was really funny. But, more funny was that I had to act remorseful and really try hard not to break into a laugh in front of her.Later that night at dinner, she said that I should quit studying and that she would ask Dad to open a pan-shop for me.'Yeah, okay...I'll take up the offer.' I replied in a jestful way. She visited my school the next day, and made sure that every teacher knew how I had become negligent with my studies.


I see these American way of bringing up kids and how they are 'grounded' and I think I was grounded for the first 16 years of life!! A fixed one hour of TV-viewing and that too DD-1. Yeah, that's true. I wonder how I turned up sane. There was also just two hours of fixed play-time. I remember messing this up too one day.


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Now, no kid wants to drink milk. My mother insisted that I should finish up my glass before heading out to play. In my hurry the glass slipped out of my hands and the milk spilled all over the floor. My mom didn't acknowledge that as a mistake and assumed it to be one of my mischiefs. So, she locked me up in the bathroom. Peeved on denied the chance to play, I decided, 'I have had enough of this life.' I flushed each and every soap down the toilet and emptied the shampoo and oil bottles on the floor. I seriously wished that may be she will after go through her threat of drilling a hole through my neck with the kitchen knife if I cause enough problems for her. Nothing of that sort happened otherwise I wouldn't have been writing all this. Isn't it? ;)


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Over the years, her image for me has changed from the gigantic eight-headed, eight-legged grotesque monster (when every direction would reverberate with 'Bhago, mummy aa rahi hai') to a lady who is too much preoccupied to see her sons stand on their legs. I say to her 'Maa, in case you didn't notice we have been standing on our legs since we were 1 year old.' Bhagwan, Maa ko sadbudhhi de

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101 comments:

Amrita~Ams said...

Damn you Grandpa!!
hehheheh...i hv the same feel..:P
"chandra-bindu on madhumakhiyan"
lolz..:D
hope ur mom is happy wit u now....
nice post

Sneha said...

kaan pakdney per hee kaam kartey hou tum .kyo ;)
or hamesha yaad dilana padta hai ki bhai
comment section check karo.

Sneha said...

bhul gai bolna Ki template achcha leg reha hai.:)
Have a nice day.:)

Mads said...

ya i tried commenting before it wasnt working...

hehe i loved this post....damn u grandpa, lol@that ;))
nice post :-)

Suresh Kumar said...

So I remember reading somewhere before in this blog space
'Maa ka ladla bigad gaya'

So what kind of punishments r enjoyed by you nowadays.

Nice nostalgic post.

Indian Home Maker said...

I always say it is a myth that mothers are softer, gentler, kinder than fathers.

I remember a discussion about buying a rikshaw to an unwilling to finish his homework child ...
(Not justifying it.)

Loved this post.

I'll try 2 be truthful said...

1.I'm a KV'iite too :D

2. my mom was strict too. infact her rule was : in class 2 you should know the tables till 20 , otherwise cook your own food.

3.alas and thank god she never said " o wretched daughter..." that was the time when my heart went out to you.

4. I guess now u must be master in hindi. KV's do that.

5. & like i say at the end of every such post --" ek hi mom hai , might as well love her " :)

abhishek said...

@amrita

happy!! she's very happy...she's expecting to get her diamond necklace from me ;)

abhishek said...

@sneha

tum to meri amma ki tarah baat kar rahi ho :P

template to mujhe bhi accha lag raha hai

abhishek said...

@mads

my bad...ab comments wale section ke saath koi chedkhani nahi

abhishek said...

@suresh

yeah...memories of times gone by...that is the only thing that stays with us.

abhishek said...

@IHM

nah! it wasn't with me atleast...I must say that I really like every posts of yours...though I may not be commenting on it(i often can't decide what to write/what not)

abhishek said...

@amrita(the truthful one)

1.oye hath mila.

2.yeah tables...bahut pareshan kiya tables ne

3.thank you...thank you

4.yep! now I talk,sleep,dance and play in hindi. :D

5.han koi aur option nahi hai :P

abhishek said...

kya baat hai...*same pinch*

waise kaun se kv se?

Sneha said...

jaha jaha papa ki posting hui un sabsey.:)
All over India.

Cяystal said...

A li'l lengthy..but a good post.
I somehow find dad's more better at times..but come on..they're parents! :D..so no discrimination.:P..
Nice revamp btw!

abhishek said...

@sneha

badiya hai...tum ne to desh-bhraman kar liya!!

abhishek said...

@crystal

thanks!!
btw i see ur splendid works at several blogs too...

Jinu P said...

i lived in Bhilai for quite a while you know... the place had some great schools! It is awesome to see someone from ddg blogging...!

and yeah! nice blog! keep it going. :)

Cuckoo said...

Came here via Blogbharti.

Hilarious. I enjoyed every bit of it. Emptying everything in bathroom ? So much of revenge ? :P Damn you !! And damn your grandpa as well.

I pity your mom. :-) She's a great lady. Ha Ha Ha..

And yes, translation takes the fun away.

P.S.- Can you pls enable the Name/URL option for commenting ? This blogger id will take you to my old blog. Below is my current url.
Cuckoo

abhishek said...

thanks cuckoo...didn't know ny blogs could go up in blog bharti...isn't it the amul butter girl in ur display pic??

Harshita said...

oye nahi... abhishek yeh HUM-TUM waali kudi hain.... Cuckoo ke dp mein...

Achcha ab post ke baarey mein... :)

Badaa galat hua tere saath...fir bhi sudhraa nahi...haha...

Jokes apart, Watever it is, it made u a really funny and smart guy... :) now take it as a compliment...

abhishek said...

arey han yeah to hum-tum waki hai.... thanks harshita

tch...tch...saara credit mummy ko...mujhe kuch nahi...buhuhuhu

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